when u’re not here

had this 3 weeks of job travel, and it killing me. Cannot hide the thought of you, and my own denial. Have you ever thought that we should be together. If it is the heart that matter, how could u stand seeing someone barely breathe cause all she wants is you..I’m trying to understand that someday i’ll be alone again, but I always cry seeig the shadow of me alone. how do I live without u after all these times?

A Little Words to say ‘See you again’

This is my last day here.

hmm not much to express, not much to say.

I’m kind of speechless. Just realized how many good things happen here, feels like my second home. All the laugh and tears, this is a friendship I will treasure 🙂

Thanks for everything guys, wish us luck in the future..

Lovina, North Bali, and disappear dolphins

Well, I think Lovina is a part of Bali that quite unpopular. People know Kuta, Legian, Nusa Dua or Dreamland better.

Lovina well known for its wild dolphin show. Not a managed or tricky show, it is naturally shown by the dolphin itself.

I went there moment ago, with the knowledge about Lovina from internet browsing. Everyone post about dolphin they see, and no one says there might me no dolphin. I really hoped that I can see wild dolphins and it haunted me all the way :X

Me and some other participants heading to the sea at 6oclock in the morning. It should be 15-10 minutes sailing we can see the dolphin *that’s what I got from browsing before I went there*. But when I was on the boat, after 30minutes, I still did not see the dolphin, and 5 minutes later the fisherman said ‘No dolphin today’. Then I asked him, ‘The dolphin usually appear everyday, right?’
He said ‘No, madam, sometime the dolphins do not appear, or maybe they appear further, crossing the safe zone’

Then we go back to the shore, bring back our excitement.

I was wondering, why didn’t I see any article about no dolphin at Lovina beach.

If you cannot find wild dolphins, don’t be sad, there’s a hotel, Melka Excelsior Hotel, put dolphins in their pool, so guests can play and swim with them. But this is totally different with what people expect at Lovina. The dolphin in the hotel are trained, just like we watch circus or sea world.

Then, what else about Lovina?
I didn’t try much things there, actually. Just had my holiday mostly in my hotel room after long road to get there. Yeah, Denpasar – Lovina with visiting many places is not a good idea, moreover after long night talking with old friends.

There also some cafe in the wharf, you can go there and have some beer with friends 😉

Me myself, tried a Pujasera (kind of food court in local language), which has so many menus. Starts from Pelecing Kangkung, Fried Chicken, Fried Rice, Soto, and many others.
The price quite cheap, worth to try. The place locates near the main gates of Lovina, if you come from Singaraja, it is on your right, beside a herbal store. Sorry I didn’t take the picture, but there’s only one pujasera on the right side from Lovina’s main gate.

But, even without the wild dolphins, you can still see coral reefs, one of the beauty of Indonesia. You can take pictures of the colored fishes. Under water camera will provide better result.

Overall, Lovina, is a nice place to have holiday. Calm place, good weather, are completely a great combination for a peaceful holiday.

Where Should a Rainbow Appear

Just a note, random note.

I used to see rainbow (which I believe there’s only one rainbow on this broken earth) on the sky, above.
Everyone, who could normally see, and has the normal function of (at least) an eye, can see it, the most beautiful thing up there, without any exception.

And what if we make it as a parable. Let me tell you a story.
A man ever said to his girlfriend, who he loves the most, he really fall into her, ‘you’re the star in my life, you’re the sunshine and rainbow after the rain’
It’s not a bullshit, he really meant it.
But he cannot tell her mom, who had stroke attack few years ago, that he loves this girl.

Do you think the girl is his rainbow?

seuntai ungkapan perasaan

………

*uda gak tau mau ngomong apa*

Macet, Kebelet Pipis, dan Nikah

gue lagi di jalan.Ajrut2an.Walopun gak naek delman.
gue abis melarikan diri.Niat awalnya adalah dari kerjaan (melarikan dirinya).Tapi karena 1 dan lain hal, akhirnya gue melarikan diri dari kenyataan.Too melow kalo gue tulis kenapa.Lagian itu menyangkut gengsi dan harga diri gue.Jadi mending gue rahasiain dulu untuk detik ini.

Gue memutuskan pergi ke bandung awal minggu kemaren.Perginya 2 hari yang lalu.Niatnya sendiri.Ternyata ada temen gue yang mau ke bandung juga,akhirnya gue memutuskan menerima tawaran untuk se hotel bareng sama mereka,for the sake of ngirit.

ternyata things went no as I expected,after removing my egoism.Man,please deh.We’re travelling together and I pay for everything I eat, for everythin I want.Jadi gue bukan numpang.Dan juga gue bukan tour guide.Tapi kenapa kalian memperlakukan gue kaya Tour guide bayaran ya?

ah ya sudahlah.People do have their pieces of thoughts.Mungkin mereka ga bermaksud gitu,tapi gue nya aja yang lagi sensi.

Macet.
di luar jendela travel ini,keliatan disana lagi macet.Tentunya travel ini juga kena macet dong.Dan gue benci macet.Apalagi pas kebelet pipis.Kaya sekarang.

beberapa waktu belakangan ini,gue kaa kucing.Kucing yg kebelet kawin.Bedanya sama gue,kalo gue kebelet nikah.Pengen nikah.Jadi kepikiran terus gitu.Kalo kawin, hmmmm…abis nikah kali ya kebeletnya.Biar resmi,legal, dan halal.

ada yang bisa kasi ide gimana caranya biar cepet nikah?

what I never understand about guys

Find some unwanted things to see..
not shocked a lot, but quite brought me into silence.

Is this why he change?

why oh why oh why

Life does hard, but every storms deserve an ending

yes, life’s hard, life’s sometimes suck.

I know. I do know. I understand, I do understand.
Almost everything I have to face in this life are hard. Sometimes I feel like I’m poisoned with everything I try to handle and make it done. It will kill me slowly.

I thought it would be an ending for me, to find a man who I love the most, ever. And I thought he loves me in return, either.
I thought we will always be what we are at the beginning. I never try to understand that life’s not flat. Life’s waving. Life’s turning.

It is hurt enough when I see him away from me, like he’s keep a distance.
It is hurt enough when I know that I have a same problem like the previous one.
It is hurt enough to know, to assume- because he never told me, and I’m not sure- I’m not that worth.
He cannot even say ‘yes. I’m having dinner with her’

Maybe this is a trial for us, time to know each other closer, and understand that life’s not flat, life’s waving, and it might be a storm someday.

All I can say is only a pray.
God, I love him so much, I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t want to see him sad. If he’ll be much happier without me, I do sure, You have Your own plan -the most perfect one- that will bring goodness for everyone. Let Yours be done.

When Time says Different Things With Our Hearts

When you want something, and need it the most, surely you will keep praying, keep saying, and keep the faith that you will get it.

What if time says different things with what you expect?
Will you just be angry with God for what He gives? Then leave Him, looking for your own truth? Or you will just surrender, keep the faith, keep praying, tell Him what you want, and begging He’ll open His way for your happiness?

Maybe we are often angry with the conditions of life, and think that its unfair. Life is not on your side, life is the enemy of yourself.

So do I. It is hard for me to have the conditions around me. Almost broken family, a less than ordinary family, not even a guy will come to me with all I have, and an ordinary me.

I once have happiness, and I do really hope, begged Him for it to ever last.
It is hurt to be taught. But I do believe that everything happens for the purpose of itself. If I ever hurt, I know, He will guide me, He will strength me till the end, till the last power of mine, then He’ll show His beautiful way.

Surrender to God, not to our power..

When Thoughts and Reality Are Just Like the Battle of Head and Heart

here we are..
2 months have passed by, and we’re alright.
We have all the happiness, the problems come and go, solve those with heart and feeling, mostly understanding of each other.

Some people say many things about us. I cannot say that I don’t care because actually I do care. I do listen to what they say, think about it, and honestly, sometimes the bad things they say are right.

Yes, we do confused about this relationship, not now, but in the future, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow. We do really want to stay together, forever if we could and permitted.

Nothing I can say about us, beside we are happy. With this difference, we still love each other. We are just making sure about what we feel, suring this will last forever, so we can have our family, build it honestly in the name of love. We’ll prove, our love is greater than the difference.