Your smile brings light into my days

The tought of you ,warms my night

To hold you in my arms ,

Even in my dreams it feels so right

Loving you

You never see the way I look into your

Eyes

You never realize the love I feel inside

Pain and sorrow that haunted me ,

Cause words I’ve left unsaid to you

Now you found someone else to love

Deep in my heart, my love won’t fade away

To hold u in my arms

Even in my dreams it feels so right loving you

*u just dont know how im going through the times without u. Feels like u need me but m not too sure, feels like in your arms but im not. Feels like gonna see u within this short time, but we;re not.How am i supposed to live without u again?Just tell me for sure if u want me to go. Am happy to see u finally settled there*

We were both young when I first saw you

I close my eyes

And the flashback starts

I’m standing there

On a balcony in summer air

See the lights

See the party, the ball gowns

I see you make your way through the crowd

And say hello, little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles

And my daddy said stay away from Juliet

And I was crying on the staircase

Begging you please don’t go, and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone

I’ll be waiting all there’s left to do is run

You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess

It’s a love story baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you

We keep quiet ’cause we’re dead if they knew

So close your eyes

Escape this town for a little while

‘Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter

And my daddy said stay away from Juliet

But you were everything to me

I was begging you please don’t go and I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone

I’ll be waiting all there’s left to do is run

You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess

It’s a love story baby just say yes

Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel

This love is difficult, but it’s real

Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess

It’s a love story baby just say yes

I got tired of waiting

Wondering if you were ever coming around

My faith in you is fading

When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Romeo save me I’ve been feeling so alone

I keep waiting for you but you never come

Is this in my head? I don’t know what to think

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said, marry me Juliet You’ll never have to be alone

I love you and that’s all I really know

I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress

It’s a love story baby just say yes

‘Cause we were both young when I first saw you

Maaf, ku telah menyakitimu

Ku telah kecewakanmu

Bahkan ku sia – siakan hidupku, dan kubawa kau s’perti diriku

Walau hati ini t’rus menangis

Menahan kesakitan ini

Tapi ku lakukan semua demi cinta

Akhirnya juga harus ku relakan kehilangan cinta sejatiku

Segalanya t’lah ku berikan

Juga semua kekuranganku

Jika memang ini yang terbaik

Untuk diriku dan dirinya

Kan ku t’rima semua demi cinta

Reff : Jujur, aku tak kuasa, saat terakhir ku genggam tanganmu

Namun yang pasti terjadi, kita mungkin tak bersama lagi

Bila nanti esok hari

Ku temukan dirimu bahagia

Ijinkan aku titipkan kisah cinta kita selamanya

there’s a time I think that I like you
and there’s a time I think that I don’t

I never thought that I could feel this way
knowing that you’ll gonna leave though it’s not about leaving me, really hurts me

I don’t understand how can I feel this way
I just feel and already knew that I want you to stay here nearby

I don’t know what to say to you
I don’t know how to keep having you here

I do sure you already know how I feel about you
I am not sure that you don’t like me in return

the expectations you told me when you want me to keep sharing with you and when you tell me about your everything
make me wonder and wonder

am I something for you?
do I mean for you?

I already told you I cannot let you go and have the distances between us
but you told me that you do this for your sake

those are not about me
those are not about us

I know and I do understand you have no ‘us’
I know but I just can get it

do you have to go?
you still have any hopes outside

you can reach your dream right over there
but not in the place you’re gonna be

I cannot tell you that I love you
I cannot tell you not because I dont want to but little more that I am not sure if I love you

could we have these things longer?
do you know I cried because you’re gonna leave?

don’t ever ask me why
I will never have the answer

I cannot hold you
I cannot hold you

even more I cannot love you
I am somebody else’s

dear, I am not sure that I will be with him
like I am not sure that we are destined to be together

is that true the you will looking for me when you’re here?
is that true that we will meet again someday?

dear, the time must not be like nowadays
the time may be too late for us to get together
the time must be too late
the time might be never come

will you ever ask me to be yours someday?
or it is just a thought to be dreamt?

dear, all i can say today is just ‘Wish you every luckinesses and goodnesses. See you next time’

*I’m crying while writing this, really afraid if I never see you again. Is this love? Or just n emotional feeling?*

aduu..apa kabar blog ku?Lama tak bersua

kesibukan dan ketidakinginan blog ini terpublish dimana2 bikin males posting

beberapa waktu ini gue punya kegalauan batin..ya merasa tertinggal sama temen2 lama *padahal temen deket banget alias sahabat* Jarak yang membentang seolah menggambarkan betapa jauhnya kita But finally setelah beberapa saat *tepatnya beberapa tahun* betapa leganya hatiku ternyata dia masi menganggap gue dalam kehidupannya

itu baru sahabat, belum lagi masalah keluarga yang kadang bikin gue memejamkan mata dan memalingkan muka. Kok rasanya gak sanggup menghadapi semua ini..One thing for sure, the faith is still in me, I do still believe, everything happen for HIS plans..Ada kalanya gue merasa ‘why me???’ dan for times i did not find the answers, but finally, i tried to be faithful ‘I’m the right and chosen person. Because only me who can pass it all with HIM’. Aduuu..kalian mungkin gak tau how it hurts to be me and how hard it is..tapi, again, this too shall pass..

Blom lagi masalah kerjaan, m ove to another place, do not means everything is better. Something you got, something you lose..Ada yang pernah bilang gini ke gue ‘orang seperti itu pasti ada di mana2, San’ .. errrr..’orang seperti itu’ refers to someone that some of you might know..Dannn..terereng..ya betul.Kalo dulu dia suka marah2 karena hal sepele, yang ini marah2 gak jelas, lama pula, 2 bulanan. Edan gak tuh..*kalo misal ada yang mau kursus peran antagonis, please feel free to call me’

Yang laen? Terlalu banyak siy kalo diceritain disini, mulai dari kamar mandi bocor, tetangga kos yang aneh, pembantu kos yang merit sama cowo yang lebih muda 20 taun, sampe tukang ojek yang nongkrong di depan gang. Percintaan?Baik2 saja, finally i know, he’s the rightest ever to be with me. Dia yang paling mengerti gue, dia yang paling menerima gue dan keluarga gue apa adanya *thanks, ney*

oiaa…satu lagi..tentang salah satu teman yang kepo abis *gak tau kepo?googling aja deh, males jelasinnya*

Dia adalah mantan pacar sobatnya mantan gue.Pusing? Ya pokonya gitu lah. Sejak gue ketemu, gue mendadak berteman  baik sama dia, sampe akhirnya i decide to leave Bandung for my sake. Perlahan gue menjadi Santi yang berbeda, Santi yang lebih sadar akan kehidupan, Santi yang lebih dewasa dan Santi  yang tidak bodoh lagi
Dan tentunya Santi yang sudah melupakan kesalahan masa lalunya dan tidak ingin mengulangi ato bahkan mengingatnya lagi. Tapi kok dia kayanya gak suka gitu dengan gue yang sekarang. Oke, gue bukanlah Santi yang bisa diajak nongkrong sampe tengah malem di kos orang, karena Santi akan lebih memilih tidur di rumah ato ngobrol sama mama *walopun berujung pada pertengkaran* ato online aja di rumah, ngobrol sama temen2 di ym ato msn.

Awalnya, setelah beberapa saat gue di BSD, gue cerita ke dia tentang temen2 gue disana. Dan dia tampaknya biasa aja, sampe suatu saat, dia nge add facebook temen gue yang dia gak even pernah ketemu. Omigot, mau apa siyyy..add orang yang gak kenal di facebook, kekurangan temen banget siy luuu…

Terus, dia ini selalu ingin join dengan segala kegiatan gue, ato komen di facebook tentag status gue *yang mana komennya adalah garing abis* seolah2 dia yang paling tau tentang update kehidupan gue..Entah kenapa gue merasa gak suka aja..mungkin karena dia menganggap gue masih desperately in love sama temennya itu *mantan gue yang merupakan teman baiknya* dia menunjukkan bahwa dia masih deket sama mereka2 dan beberapa acara jalan2 yang mana gue gak pernah diajak *sapa pengen juga* Aduu..udah ah, jahat banget gue ya..

Setelah beberapa lama pake IM2, gue merasa tertipuuu…

bisa gila!!! Masa dari total pemakaian 16jam 42 menit, average per connectionnya cuma 23 menit.
Edan abis kan..

Parah..

Lumayan sih, buat dapet link download

tapi cuma link nya!!!

Kalo lagi chat sama shane, dia pasati misuh2 karena koneksi gue ancurrrr…Kalo ngomong jadi gak nyambung. Selain inggris yang terbata2, message nya dia nyampenya 3 menit kemudian. Jauh banget sama di Ostrali katanya (ya iyalah, Shane.)

Mending sih dibandingin broom nya Oliv yang udah beberapa hari gak konek (Makanya ganti yang pascabayar aja liv)

Ada yang punya saran untuk mendapatkan koneksi IM2 yang ok??

As much as I love you
As much as I need you
And I can’t stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No….)

But you won’t let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can’t remember what you did

But I hate it…
You know exactly what to do
So that I can’t stay mad at you
For too long that’s wrong

But I hate it…
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don’t want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah…)
I can’t stand how much I need you (I need you…)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh..)

You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

Said it’s not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I… love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain’t right

And I hate how much I love you girl
I can’t stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can’t let you go
But I hate that I love you so

One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me
And your kiss won’t make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you’ll probably always have a spell on me…

Yeaahhh… Oohh…

As much I love you (as much as I need you)
As much as I need you (oooh..)
As much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you

And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can’t stand how much I need you (can’t stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can’t let you go (but I just can’t let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so

And I hate that I love you so.. so…

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I’m letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You’ll always be a part of me
I’m a part of you indefinitely
Girl don’t you know you can’t escape me
Ooh darling cause you’ll always be my baby
And we’ll linger on
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you’ll always be my baby

I ain’t gonna cry no
And I won’t beg you to stay
If you’re determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you’ll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You’ll always be a part of me
I’m part of you indefinitely
Girl don’t you know you can’t escape me
Ooh darling cause you’ll always be my baby
And we’ll linger on
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you’ll always be my baby

I know that you’ll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you’ll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it’s only a matter of time

You’ll always be a part of me
I’m part of you indefinitely
Girl don’t you know you can’t escape me
Ooh darling cause you’ll always be my baby
And we’ll linger on
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you’ll always be my my baby….

You’ll always be a part of me (you will always be)
I’m part of you indefinitely
Girl don’t you know you can’t escape me
Ooh darling cause you’ll always be my baby
And we’ll linger on (we will linger on….)
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you’ll always be my baby

Always be my baby

Happy New Year 2009

Hari ini adalah hari kedua di taun 2009, tapi belum menyurutkan hasrat gue untuk blogging. Maksudnya pengen nulis2 aja gitu..karena gue ngerasa banyak hal yang sudah terjadi tetapi masih tersimpan dalam hati alias gak punya temen curhat..

Bukan berarti ga punya temen loh..

Taun 2008, bisa jadi taun keajaiban dan keberuntungan gue. Kenapa?? Karena pada tahun itu, gue lulus kuliah (finally) dan juga mulai kerja (walopun cuma 10 bulan kurang 10 hari). Akhirnya gue merasakan kekejaman hidup yang sesungguhnya. Gaji yang gak pernah cukup, bos yang selalu terlihat kejam, kerjaan yang gak pernah gak numpuk, klien yang… (gak enak ngomongnya :”>), dan perpisahan yang cukup menyedihkan.

Setelah melewati banyak rintangan yang menghadang, finally gue sidang sarjana, dengan segala ketergesaan. Gimana gak tergesa, dari Bintaro jam setengah 6 sore, nyampe Bandung jam 8 malem dannn programnya gak jalan. Begadanglah sampe jam 6, nyiapin power point dan segala tetek bengeknya. Jam 8 udah di kampus, get ready for the execution. Jam 10 sidang. Dan seperti biasa, gue pemanasan dulu di warung Ibu, sambil minta doa restu. Akhirnya masuklah gue di ruang sidang. Tanpa pembimbing 2 yang sangat gue harapkan kehadirannya. Tapi untungnya pembimbing 1 gue dateng dan sangat sangat menguatkan gue (makasi paaa..) Setelah presentasi, dibantai (untung gue gak tewas di ruang sidang) dan kemudian diusir. Ac yang sangat dingin itu mampu membuat gue keringetan. Hebat kan???? Akhirnya gue dipanggil masuk ruang sidang lagi dan dikasi tau bahwa gue lulus. Horrayyyy, i’m no longer an undergraduate student anymore…

Terus kerja, sebelum sidang itu, gue mengalami masa2 berat. Dimaki2 bos dan klien karena sesuatu yang menurut gue adalah warisanleluhur. Maksudnya orang yang udah resign dan kerjaannya gak bener!!!! Siyalan abissss…..gue kena ngerapihin dokumentasi 3078 bugs. Edan kan. Tapi akhirnya masa2 itu berlalu seiring nyadar nya gue akan pekerjaan sebagai superwoman emang gak mudah.

Terus wisuda. Bo, plis deh. Gue musti pake kebaya. no no no no no. harga diriii…. Tapi karena orang tua yang maksa2 pengen liat gue wisuda, akhirnya gue ikutan juga dan menyerah pake kebaya hasil minjem. hihihihi.Gue udah bukan warga kampus lagi!!!!

Terus…the hardest partof mine last year. When I have to tell my cute boss that I have to resigning from my position. It was so hard. Mungkin (pasti) orang2 gak ada yang percaya kalo gue bilang pamitan resign itu berat. Susah bo…kasian sama orang2 yang bakal ditinggal superwomannya. Tapi akhirnya gue resign juga..I have to leave Balicamp..

Dan bertemulah di tahun ini. Tahun yang penuh pengharapan buat gue..banyak rencana dan harapan gue di taun ini. Gue mau ngajak bokap nyokap jalan2, mau beli ini itu….n…plan to get engaged this year..

Mohon doa restunya ya…

Gue sedang mengingat² masa kecil gue dan bioskop.
Dulu, gue jarang banget yang namanya ke bioskop.
yahh..lagian jaman gue kecil (sekitar 15 taun yang lalu ) bioskop masih jarang banget.
Lagian, kondisi perekonomian saat itu juga bukan yang lebih lebih banget. Cukup lah.

Film pertama yang gue tonton adalah Jurrasic Park. Itu gue nonton sekeluarga, komplit plit plit.
Film kedua adalah Baby’s Day Out.

Nah untuk film kedua ini rada lucu ceritanya, sekaligus mengawali karir gue sebagai quiz hunter.
Jadi waktu itu gue menang kuis lomba mewarnai ‘klo gak salah’ di majalah Fantasi (masih inget gak sama majalah a.k.a koran ini???). Hadiahnya adalah kaos. Dan entaj kenapa, setelah menang kuis, gue merasa berkewajiban untuk nonton filmnya.
Akhirnya gue nonton sama om gue, nonton di bioskop yang minggu matine. Weleh weleh..dan waktu itu, gue bangun jam 5 pagi untuk persiapan nonton itu. Padahal klo dipikir² sekarang, apa cobaaaa…sampe bangun jam segitu.

Cerita ajib lainnya adalah ketika gue mau ngambil tuh hadiah di kantor pos terdekat. Waktu itu gue sampe minta surat pengantar dari sekolah
Ajib kan?
Padahal mungkin waktu itu si kantor pos juga gak akan merhatiin kali ya, kan surat keterangan pengambilan hadiahnya gue bawa juga..

Ah, dasar anak kecil yang aneh.