after all this time

i almost finish my study.

i’m still looking for jobs that will give me life

have just read my bestfriend’s blog, seeing him with a better attitude is a pleasure.  He said that he was strengthen by me,  seeing me, a girl, who struggle for my own life.

Okay, we were in a relationship that i cannot explain here, he know exactly how i had my life. How i do plenty things by my own.Hard, and trust me, it’s harder to be done by a girl like me.

I might be looked as a strong and  tough outside, but i’m a child inside. I need a courage, need someone “older” to hold on.

I’ve been hurt for times, heals myself on  a while by myself. Pay my college fees by myself, possess my own needs by myself. See,how hard i am. But i don’t want to be seen as a hard, i want to bee seen that i enjoyed my life, the business of me, and i can courage it by myself. Doesn’t mean that i need noone, but i just try to stand withb my own.

This December, my bestfriend will have her engagement in Canada. I want to be there, see her laugh and happiness, that she finally found the one she’s been looking for. Can i?

Ngel, I will really try to be there…trust me.

A thought crosses my mind, when will I?

With these uncertainties, I don’t know when the time will come over me. But i’m sure i will be there, in that happiness, being the happiest person ever to have the man beside me.